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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Highwaymen Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Highwaymen Reviewed By David Cornelius Posted 12/15/04 05:44:18

"Jesus Built My Hot Rod!" (Total Crap)

There?s a whole world of stupid out there, and taking up a large chunk of real estate is ?Highwaymen,? a thriller so mind-blowingly asinine that it must be seen to be believed. It?s a movie built entirely around a high concept that just doesn?t work, and any effort to force it to, including extra-sincere performances and an extra-gritty directorial style, only makes it all the more sillier. If you?re looking for a long, solid laugh, ?Highwaymen? will do the trick.The film stars Jim Caveziel, whom I once named the Most Boring Actor In Hollywood due to his complete and utter lack of charisma and the fact that he always looks like he just woke up and can?t find the alarm clock. Nowadays, thanks to a certain religious blockbuster, I call him either Jesus H. Christ, Boring Jesus, or, if I have the space, The Guy Who Got Struck By Lightning Twice Because God Didn?t Like the Idea of That Ass-Hat From ?Angel Eyes? Playing His Son. It?s a bit lengthy a nickname, though, and besides, I?m not sure if the word ?ass-hat? is in the Bible.But anyway. Mr. Personality plays Rennie, a bitter, silent type whose wife was murdered five years back by a serial hit-and-run killer. He now spends his days cruising the country on the hunt for the killer, and I can see this turning into some ?Renegade?-ish TV series, with Rennie stopping in a new town every week to solve a murder or help some housewife protect her family from the local night club owner and his gang of thugs or teach some kids to stay in school and keep off the dope.For the time being, however, it?s strictly a matter of Rennie chasing down the killer, who drives a souped-up 1972 lime green El Dorado with one headlight burned out. The killer, who spends the first half of the film unseen in a limp ?homage? (read: rip-off) of ?Duel,? has recently paused to cause a massive pile-up in some highway tunnel, where he then toys with the survivors by running them down one by one. Only - yes - he left one survivor behind, but he took her picture, and surely he?ll be able to track her down and finish the job!The survivor is Molly (Rhona Mitra), who inexplicably teams up with Rennie after he confronts her at a group therapy meeting. ?Need a lift?? he asks. She declines, thinking it?s a sexual advance. ?I didn?t say we?d enjoy ourselves,? he adds. Her reply: ?You promise?? And off they ride. Whee!!It?s here we discover the backstory of Rennie and the killer, who is named Fargo and played by Colm Feore. Through narration and flashback, the movie trumps itself with this glorious pile of dumb: Fargo was an insurance adjuster whose father once forced him to leer at pictures of bloody auto accidents. His job not enough to sate his thirst for violence, he became a serial hit-and-run killer. Which leads him to Rennie, who, instead of mourning the death of his wife or calling for an ambulance following the murder, instead leaps into his car and begins a massive crosstown chase. Rennie sideswipes Fargo; Rennie goes to prison for three years; Fargo gets out of the hospital, held together by a tangle of metal braces; Fargo starts sending taunting newspaper clippings of his latest kills to Rennie.I swear, the only way this movie could get any dumber is to have a gritty renegade traffic investigator show up.At this point in the plot, Frankie Faison shows up as Mackin, a gritty renegade traffic investigator.Grizzled and bitter in a Morgan Freeman-in-?Seven? kind of way, Macklin is hot on the case of the loony driver and the loonier guy chasing him. ?I don?t carry a gun,? Macklin laments, ?just some measuring tape and pencils.? He doesn?t say it, but I?d bet good money that Macklin is only days away from retirement and is also perhaps too old for this shit.If all of this is not enough to seal the movie as one of the all-time examples of Bad Movie idiocy, allow me to detail the clincher. Fargo?s in a motorized wheelchair, you see, and after one exceptionally dull car chase, we find the villain chugging along on the open road, ready to grab Molly and do villainous deeds. Rennie, meanwhile, has just come to and is trying to start his car via the Movie Thriller Method, which is to flood the engine until it finally starts at the last minute. Fargo, realizing he?s vulnerable, races to get back to his car.So this is what the movie comes down to: a nailbiter to see if Jim Caviezel can start his car before a guy in a wheelchair can coast away at a cool two miles per hour. With suspense-enhancing music blaring and earnest overacting, too boot.It?s at times like these that I?m reminded that somebody, somewhere, thought that this movie was worth the time, money, and energy required to make a feature film. Boggles the mind, doesn?t it?That somebody is Robert Harmon, who long ago directed the crafty thriller ?The Hitcher? and recently topped it with ?They,? one of the best (and most overlooked) horror flicks of the past few years. Why he picked ?Highwaymen? - written by Craig Mitchell and Hans Bauer, whose last team-up was the direct-to-video junker ?Komodo? (Bauer also penned ?Anaconda,? you?re welcome) - as his follow-up is debatable, although I?m guessing he was attracted to the similarities between it and ?Hitcher.? (The film also openly steals from ?Duel,? as mentioned earlier, as well as ?Christine,? ?Breakdown,? and ?Joy Ride,? among others.) But no amount of enthusiastic direction can save this embarrassment of a screenplay; in fact, the sincerity of the director and of the cast only works to make the film worse. You can?t believe anyone would take such brainless material so seriously, but yup, they did, and you can?t help but laugh.And while ?Highwaymen? is a terrible, horrible, pathetic thriller, it?s also one of the most entertaining I?ve seen in some time. This is a movie that goes well beyond bad, even beyond Bad with a capital B. ?Highwaymen? exists in that glorious other dimension of cinematic junk, a prize jewel in the crown of unintentionally funny failures. Anyone wanting to laugh at a movie gone wonderfully, dreadfully wrong now has a new favorite crapsterpiece to admire.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Dogville Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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“Without publicity,” that great ringmaster P.T. Barnum once said, “a terrible thing happens: nothing!” It’s a lesson that has never been lost on one of Barnum’s spiritual sons, the fitfully brilliant Danish filmmaker Lars von Trier. Part carny, part genius, Von Trier has been manufacturing minor tempests for years, most recently with his latest scandal, “Dogville.” A movie in which Nicole Kidman gets kicked around by Mr. and Mrs. USA and David Bowie sings about “young Americans” over photographs of brutalized human refuse, the three-hour opus was the excited, at times bitter talk of last year’s Cannes film festival. Loudly decried as anti-American in some quarters and hailed a masterpiece in others, “Dogville” was the right movie for that edition of Cannes. The festival had needed a shock to its system and Von Trier was an old hand with the electrodes. For the more than 3,000 restless journalists in attendance, the premiere of an anti-American epic so soon after the U.S. had launched a war that was largely unpopular in Europe and especially France was manna from hype heaven. A year later, with the war depressing old news and attention having drifted to such weapons of mass-cultural destruction as Janet Jackson’s breast, it’s hard to see what the fuss was about. It is, however, easier to see “Dogville” for what it is — a provocation, a coup de théâtre and three hours of tedious experimentation. ADVERTISEMENT The slyly simple story opens as, once upon a time in America, a young fugitive, Grace (Nicole Kidman), takes refuge in a Rocky Mountain township called Dogville. Initially suspicious of the stranger, the townspeople take Grace into their cautious embrace and gradually offer her shelter, work and fellowship. She weeds a gooseberry patch belonging to a cranky shopkeeper (Lauren Bacall), keeps company with a lonely blind man (Ben Gazzara), giggles with the local women (including Chloë Sevigny and Patricia Clarkson) and embarks on a wan romance with the town’s self-appointed moral compass, Tom Edison (Paul Bettany). But the milk of human kindness sours quickly in Dogville, and after old doubts and new fear surface, Grace finds herself cast out again, this time with disastrous results. Set on a large soundstage with a smattering of props — with the houses, streets and even a family dog rendered in white outline on the dark floor — “Dogville” is the apotheosis of art-house high concept. Written by Von Trier and shot in digital video, the story advances on occasionally conflicting parallel tracks — in a voice-over spoken by British actor John Hurt and in the action played out by the international cast. The intermittent narration furnishes exegesis as well as the slow, steady drip of irony. The some two dozen cast members, meanwhile, supply the meager visual distraction by going through their pantomime paces — closing invisible doors, picking invisible apples — with nary a raised eyebrow. The language is stripped down, reminiscent of social plays of the 1930s, and the influence of Bertolt Brecht is palpable. The deconstructed set and the mannered line readings are clearly the filmmaker’s bid to destroy the illusion of classical realist cinema by showing us the stitching. But Von Trier’s intentions — or at least his results — could not be further from the deep-rooted idealism of social drama, in which hope flickers however faintly. Driven by a Hobbesian conception of human beings as engaged in a war of all against all, Von Trier uses the familiar conceit of an individual in crisis as a springboard for his usual fixations. As in his last three dramas “Breaking the Waves,” “The Idiots” and “Dancer in the Dark,” Von Trier’s so-called Golden-Heart Trilogy about martyred women, he again employs the spectacle of female suffering as the basis for what has become a depressingly cruel and merciless worldview. Never a lover of humanity, at least on screen, Von Trier is inordinately fond of brutalizing his female characters. Among the more easily disinterred reasons is the influence of the late Carl Theodore Dreyer, the director of cinematic masterpieces such as “The Passion of Joan of Arc” and “Day of Wrath.” A filmmaker who certainly loved the image of weeping women, the earlier great Dane has exerted a profound impact on Von Trier. Dreyer’s influence on Von Trier can principally be detected in the latter’s ongoing preoccupations with religious faith and divine grace and his attempts to establish new cinematic paradigms, as stated in the infamous Dogma proclamation. But unlike Dreyer, whose interest in film form is inseparable from his interest in human nature, Von Trier takes gleeful delight in sacrificing his characters on the altar of his formalist experiments. Given the filmmaker’s talent for provocation and how little regard he generally shows for all his characters, it’s reductive to decry “Dogville” as simply (or simple) anti-Americanism. It would also miss the film’s other target. Von Trier takes some easy, uncomfortable jabs at the country — or, rather, a sentimentalized, Norman Rockwell idea of the country — but because the digs are devoid of historical and political specificity the criticisms come across as fundamentally toothless. (He’s not exactly Michael Moore.) What he’s also after here, what also has Von Trier in a lather, is the realist cinema that built Hollywood and which the industry has helped export to the world. Principally because it’s a cinematic practice that’s radically at odds with his own aesthetic mission and, perhaps just a little, because Hollywood’s dominance puts a terrible squeeze on non-American cinema. Von Trier’s frustrations are understandable. Internationally recognized as a major auteur, he remains a marginalized figure in the U.S., as a filmmaker vigorously engaged in pushing the edge of the cinematic envelope, regulated to the ghetto of the art house. That doesn’t make “Dogville” and Kidman’s suffering more pleasant to watch, but it helps furnish some context that cries of anti-Americanism, especially these days, might obscure. Still, given the tenor of these days, I wish this exceptionally talented filmmaker would put aside his dog-eat-dog sadism and wallowing self-indulgence. Writing about Brecht and Arthur Miller in the mid-1950s, theater critic Kenneth Tynan pledged, “I shall continue to applaud all plays that are honestly frivolous, devoutly disengaged; but I shall reserve my cheers for the play in which man among men, not man against men, is the well-spring of tragedy.” Then as now, we need dogs that can rip the throat out of injustice, not just bark up their own tree. ‘Dogville‘ MPAA rating: R for violence and sexual content Times guidelines: Rape, gun violence Nicole Kidman…Grace Lauren Bacall…Ma Ginger Paul Bettany…Tom Edison Ben Gazzara…Jack McKay Chloë Sevigny…Liz Henson Released by Lions Gate Films. Writer-director Lars von Trier. Producer Vibeke Windelov. Director of photography Anthony Dod Mantle. Camera operator Lars von Trier. Casting Avy Kaufman, Joyce Nettles.
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Casino Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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I’m not a huge James Bond fan. Not to say that I don’t enjoy the adventures of the beloved superspy, but just that I’m not as big a fan as I am of, say, the Star Wars movies. Especially the last few years of Bond movies. While I think that Pierce Brosnan made a suave Bond, his scripts let him down. The movies became clones of action movies, trying to top one another in the sheer ridiculous quotient. (Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist named Dr. Christmas Jones, solely for the filthy double entendre at the end that you could see “arriving” from a mile away). Much like the Batman series once Schumacher took over, the movies seemed to exist for the toys, even if the Bond toys were solely on screen. And now we have Casino Royale, which actually continues the Batman comparison with the “rebooting” of the franchise from the beginning. Low tech, bringing the series back to it’s roots, showing a beloved hero from the beginning, etc. The comparisons are endless, and the greatest comparison is that they, like Nolan and his Batman Begins team, made an unbelievably kick ass movie that washes away the taste of some of the lesser films that came previously.

Daniel Craig, the uber suave lad from Layer Cake and Munich, takes over the reigns as Bond. James Bond. And he does a great job. Gone are the horrible puns and double entendres. Now, we have a no nonsense, take cahrge kind of Bond. But he’s also a little more vulnerable, as he is still a bit wet behind the ears. Hell, he only achieves his double “0″ status (as in 007) at the beginning of the movie. Our Bond also has a bit of an ego problem. this wouldn’t be so bad if the script didn’t keep reminding us of this every twenty minutes or so. (I attribute this to the collaboration on the script by Paul Haggis, who also brought us the “racism is bad” theme in the Oscar winning Crash. It was kind of hard to miss that point. Haggis writing Crash is also a fun fact to consider in the beginning of the film, when Bond is at the Ugandan embassy, shooting at black men, while he is the only white guy there. Not an intentional theme, but something fun to think of nonetheless).

So, we have a new Bond, fresh from his promotion to 007 status, in Uganda, where he pursues a bomb maker. The bomb maker, it turns out, is a student of parkour, the ridiculously awesome stunt movements featured prominently in District B13. However, the chase scene that ensues between Bond and the bombmaker is ten times better than all the scenes in B13 combined. Seriously. In fact, all the action scenes in Casino Royale feel fresh and re-invigorated. If there’s any CGI enhancement, it’s done seamlessly. But they feel like a return to old fashioned stunt work. There are no car chases with gadgets and smoke screens. bond gets royally abused, beaten down, and almost castrated. (That was a fun scene). He’s not invincible, and Casino Royale reminds you of this. The action scenes are only half the pleasure, though. The story follows Bond as he tracks down Le Chiffre, who has a weird eye and likes to compute statistics. He’s also a banker for terrorists. Le Chiffre has a plan, involving war lord money and the stock exchange. When Bond foils this (I won’t spoil the hows and whys) Le Chiffre puts all his money on a poker game. Yes, a poker game.

And Bond’s new mission is to beat Le Chiffre in this poker game. Which takes place at… wait for it… Casino Royale! (Title!) I realize I write about how there’s a new dramatic force behind this film, and it’s main set piece revolves around a poker game. (Changed from the original Ian Fleming novel’s baccarat, I’m guessing due to popularity). But it lends itself to some suspensful scenes, but more importantly, it lays down the groundwork for some important moments in the Bond legacy, namely his discovery of good martinis and the tux. That scene with Bond first putting the tux on is done quite nicely. There are other staples of the Bond series, such as the elaborate credit sequence (with a song courtesy of ex-Soundgarden/current Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell), the classic Aston Martin and beautiful Bond women. (Eva Green plays Vesper Lynd, and holds her own against Craig. And she’s quite easy on the eyes to boot).

But the movie isn’t interested in winking and nodding to the audience about these things. It’s about establishing Daniel Craig as James Bond in a post 9-11 (and more importantly post-Bourne) society. For this alone, the movie is a complete success. I credit director Martin Campbell, director of the first Brosnan Bond “Goldeneye”, as well as the criminally underrated and terminally badass “No Escape” Craig plays Bond very well. I’m not going to make ludicrous comparisons to previous Bond actors, because opinions vary on other Bond portrayals. Is he as good as Connery was in the role? Hells yes. Craig is suave, sophisticated, but just unhinged enough to make you believe him as a real man, not just the super agent we’ve come to associate Bond with. You even get to see Bond fall in love, a rarity for the series. And you also get to see him kick some ass. And take some names. Craig was the first step in many steps that assured Casino Royale would turn out to be a really good movie. For once, I’m truly excited when I see the words “James Bond Will Return”. PS- I didn’t give him any credit, but Jeffrey Wright plays series staple Felix Leiter. I didn’t single him out because the very fact that he’s in a movie means he’s going to be awesome. Casino Royale proves this point.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Good Boy! Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Good Boy! Reviewed By Greg Muskewitz Posted 05/05/04 19:10:41

"Oh boy!" (Pretty Bad)

A loner boy often on the move with his Trading Spaces-motivated fixer-upper parents, is thrust into a mini-adventure when the dog he adopts from the pound turns out to be sent from outer space (to check on how well the dogs here have succeeded in running humans) and an accidental glitch allows the boy to hear dogs speak.(Think of it as a more limited Dr. Dolittle, Jr.) The importunate issue at hand is that the ?Greater Dane? (?the top dog?) will be arriving on Earth for inspection shortly, and the planet?s dogs are in shabby shape. Though one would dare say this is for those depraved in the imagination department, in its most generic form it amounts to a harmless divertissement of time and even strays from applying much of a moral. The level of squeamishness and embarrassment in scenes of juvenile aggression and man-to-animal schmaltz tends to decrease the closer one is to nonage. With Liam Aiken, Kevin Nealon, and the voices of Matthew Broderick, Donald Faison, Vanessa Redgrave, and Cheech Marin. Directed by John Hoffman.[See it if you must.]
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Cursed Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Cursed
The series was cursed from the start (no pun intended). I am totally amazed
that this show is still on the air. If not for its timeslot, it would have
been cancelled by now. The cast is not to blame - the writers are. Steven
Weber is a fine actor as is Amy Pietz, but this show is not meant for
them… they made a mistake taking these roles…

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Under Siege Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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This time the pretext is a rip off of Police Academy 2, with a group of
thieves starting a crime wave, while facing police corruption in the
city in this atrocious sequel which leaves the viewer begging for
death. This sequel is without a doubt one of the lamest comedies ever,
the humor is dated, the actors bored and no laugh is contained in this
horse manure. One could call this a really bad action movie, with the
humor it contains. This is seriously the pits, as bad as movies get and
just think Mission To Moscow was even worse. Of course that’s why this
I voted it a 2 rather than a 1.City Under Siege, indeed!

1/5 Matt Bronson

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Ali Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Ali – ***1/2 (out of 5)   (2001)

Cast: Will Smith, Jon Voight, Jamie Foxx, Mario Van Peebles, Jada Pinkett Smith, Nona Gaye

Directed By Michael Mann

 

ALI is the type of movie that is hard not to disappoint people with, since ALI is a much loved figure around the world, and one of the most popular personalities of the Sixties and Seventies.  Also, ALI was released in December of 2001, which usually means a film that is trying to garner Oscar nominations, so the expectations as well as the scrutiny are at an all-time high.  However, while many will be disappointed with the final product, there’s no denying that Muhammad Ali is a captivating figure in boxing history, and even American history, and the curiosity alone into his private life makes for some compelling viewing nonetheless.

One of the primary factors that may disappoint some viewers is the fact that ALI only spans a brief portion of his life, concentrating strictly from the time he first gained the world heavyweight title to the time he gained it the second time.  Obviously this was the pivotal time in Ali’s career and also for the civil rights movement, and Mann’s ALI interweaves Ali’s career, personal life, and political alliances during that era.  In addition to his rise to prominence, the film showcases his relations with Malcolm X and Elijah Muhammad, why he changed his name from Cassius Clay to Muhammad Ali, his relationships with the three women he married, his fight to avoid going to Vietnam, and the court battles to keep from going to prison as well as regain his boxing license back. 

Probably the most surprising aspect of the film comes from the casting.  It would be doubtful before the film for Will Smith to be the first person named to play Muhammad Ali, but Jon Voight as Howard Cosell?  Mario Van Peebles as Malcolm X?  Then when you hear that they’ve cast comedians in supporting roles such as Jamie Foxx or Paul Rodriguez, you begin to wonder if this is a serious endeavor.  Yet, the casting works brilliantly, and each cast member plays their roles in almost pitch perfect fashion, that you’d wonder what happened to the careers of such wonderful actors like Voight, Van Peebles, or Ron Silver, for this to be their first good work in about a decade.  Director Michael Mann gets the most out of his actors, and certainly delivers many genuinely great moments, especially during scenes played out without dialogue. 

However, it isn’t all rosy for Mann.  While he certainly lends a unique style that is mostly effective, some parts of the film seem needlessly long, such as the initial fight or scenes of Ali jogging.  While stylishly done and effective for what they are, they also make the film too somber for what should be an exciting bio-pic about a dynamic personality.  Also, the scope seems too narrow to have the label of ALI, since we only get a slice of Ali’s life during a certain period, and we never really learn where he is from, or really who he is.  Lastly, the last hour of the film is the Rumble in the Jungle bout where Ali gains his belt back, but almost every scene is a re-enactment of footage already seen in the terrific documentary WHEN WE WERE KINGS, that the inclusion seems redundant and fruitless, with the only revelation being that Ali has an affair with what would be his future wife while in Africa.

I personally think if the first hour were dedicated to Ali’s upbringing, the second on his career and Muslim faith, and the last hour reserved for his post-career life and battles with Parkinson’s disease, ALI would have been a much more complete and satisfying package.  However, we have to take what we can get, and we do get a good film with many fine performances and interesting historical tidbits.  I recommend ALI in combination with WHEN WE WERE KINGS for people who want to know a little more what the man behind the legend was like during the peak of his career.  However, if you are looking for the definitive Muhammad Ali film, you’ll have to be patient, as that movie has yet to be made.

Back to Qwipster’s Movie Reviews            

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Bad Santa Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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First, let me get out of the way that I’m not giving Bad Santa a bad review because I found it morally repugnant or that I’m upset at yet another desecration of a beloved icon.  It’s not the fact that the film is vulgar that I dislike it so; it’s the fact that it isn’t much of anything else.  Watching a guy in a Santa suit do and say the vilest of things may be funny to people who love anything that pushes the envelope of good taste, such as "South Park" or just about any film by the Farrelly brothers.  The problem with Bad Santa is that it uses vulgarity as a crutch to inject humor where there really isn’t any, gasping for precious air like a fish out of water, needing something to keep its feeble self alive, and only doing so by spewing out more of the same.

At its core, Bad Santa is a mix of heist flick and a black comedy, with Thornton (Intolerable Cruelty, Bandits) playing Willie, a man who has no interest in being a mall Santa, save for the fact that it allows himself and his diminutive elf assistant (Cox, Date Movie) some time to case the place for a safe and figure out a way to crack it before Christmas.  Willie wants to get out of the shady business, but he is caught in a cycle of alcoholism and bad vices, pissing away all of his loot before the next winter, having to find another mall, another safe, and enough money to last another year.  Over the years, Willie has gotten progressively more unhealthy, and sloppy in his habits, and this sloppiness carries over into their latest gig in Phoenix, where he involuntarily befriends an 8-year-old boy (Kelly, The Sandlot 2).

Bad Santa is directed by Terry Zwigoff, who has scored two acclaimed cult comedies in a row, Crumb and Ghost World, and there’s probably a cult audience for this film as well, although I suspect it’s a much different audience for much different reasons.  It’s a predictable, one-joke premise: watch Santa binge drink, spew profanity, insult children and their mothers, screw women, piss himself — rinse and repeat.  Obviously, with a young child in the mix, there’s only so long the Grinch-shtick can last, and the final half hour becomes formulaic fare, although the change in heart feels like a welcome shower after an hour of the filthiest, black comedy around.

So is Bad Santa funny?  I’ll give you a litmus test: re-read my review above, except this time put the word "fucking" before each noun and adjective.  If by adding just this one word repeatedly throughout causes you to think it’s hilarious, then Bad Santa was made for you.  It’s simple-minded vulgarity for simple-minded audiences, and probably shoddy entertainment for anyone looking for substance.  Seeing a network attempt to edit this for television would be hilarious, much more so than the film itself ends up being.

– Also available in an 88-minute Director’s Cut and an unrated 99-minute raunchier version, Badder Santa.

Qwipster’s rating:
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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Inside Man Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Spike Lee’s compelling new crime thriller “Inside Man” is his most commercial film to date and quite possibly his best work in years. The film is suspenseful and tightly paced, based on a clever screenplay by Russell Gewirtz that involves a puzzling, yet airtight, bank heist/hostage standoff set amidst the urban, racially charged melting pot of New York City.

The strong cast includes a cocky and charismatic Denzel Washington as hostage negotiator Keith Frazier and Chiwetel Ejiofor as his partner Bill Mitchell who are dispatched to the scene to negotiate with the robbery mastermind, Dalton Russell, played by Clive Owen. Despite acting much of the time from behind a mask, Owen turns in a convincing, well nuanced performance as an unusually smart criminal with a conscience, although he occasionally slips out of his American accent to reveal his British origins. Russell proves to be an unexpectedly sharp opponent who is always one step ahead of Frazier and calmly refuses to deviate from his meticulous plan. He frequently outwits Frazier as he engages him in a challenging game of cat and mouse, putting Frazier’s negotiating skills to the test and turning his standoff plan on its tail. Indeed, Russell eventually cleverly manipulates him into investigating the real crime committed many decades ago.   Jodie Foster, in a role distinctly different from her recent work in “Panic Room” and “Flight Plan,” plays mysterious power broker Madeline White who has many shady allegiances along with a hidden agenda that threatens to cause an already unstable situation to spiral out of control. When she enters the picture, it becomes obvious there is more at stake than we first suspected. While her role is underwritten, she nevertheless makes the most of her slick, bitch-on-wheels persona. Willem Dafoe turns in a solid performance as Emergency Services Unit Capt. John Darius. Christopher Plummer plays the Bank’s sly board chairman and uber-capitalist Arthur Case whose dark past comes back to haunt him and who hires White to protect his secret at all costs.

The film launches almost immediately into action with next to no buildup as the bad guys (three men and a woman), disguised as painters, march into the lobby of the Manhattan Trust Bank in New York’s financial district. Using infrared technology, Russell zaps the bank’s surveillance system, then, along with his cohorts, proceeds to take the bank’s employees and customers hostage, forcing them to dress in outfits identical to the intruders and keeping them confused and off balance for the remainder of the film. Russell’s real motives for robbing the bank are never entirely clear, but it becomes obvious as the story unfolds that the object of interest targeted by the robbers is not the money that lies in plain sight in the vault. The introduction early in the story of often amusing flash forward fragments of post-seige hostage interviews provides a welcome break from the film’s intense hostage drama. However, their inclusion also undercuts the film’s dramatic tension by suggesting that the perpetrators got away with their crime and left their hostages unharmed. Also, the revelation of the sensitive contents of Case’s mysterious safe deposit box, while dramatically critical, undermines the story’s credibility since it seems inconceivable that Case would not have destroyed such damning evidence long before now.

Lee proves once again that he is a director with a unique vision and a social conscience who knows how to build and sustain tension while simultaneously mining the racial, sexual and class resentments and making sharp observations about post-9/11 racial profiling, ethnic identity confusion, and racist video games. He delivers some very smart and entertaining action along with a compelling portrait of New York in 2006 that is reflective of its distinct ethnic and cultural diversity. And he takes a fresh and very different approach to the standard crime thriller while also paying homage to the best of the genre from filmmakers in the 1970s, although “Inside Man” is no “Dog Day Afternoon.” Gewirtz’s script has lots of unexpected twists, some very sharp dialogue, and it’s fun watching Russell match wits with Frazier. But that said, the film falls short of building a story that pays off and the ending seems overextended and almost too pat. When you start scratching the surface, some of the film’s major plot points simply don’t add up, and you feel robbed, but you can’t figure out what was taken. Perhaps if Lee and Gewirtz had revealed a bit more about Russell’s motives, the payoff would feel more satisfying.

Cinematographer Matthew Labatique delivers fluid, kinetic camerawork that shows he knows how to keep up with the rough and tumble action. Particularly striking, yet distracting because it calls so much attention to itself, is the extended handheld camerawork that follows the police as they storm the bank and search its cavernous corridors. Also amusingly noteworthy is the way the camera captures Jodie Foster’s body from every conceivable angle to show off her best assets. Donna Berwick’s costume design is smart and character-appropriate, especially Washington’s sharp Panama hat and Foster’s high heels and tight fitting power suits. Terence Blanchard’s dramatic score supports the director’s vision, although at times it overwhelms the action. That said, the Bollywood rap that accompanies the film’s credits is sensational.

“Inside Man” is an enjoyable and entertaining film that goes well with a large tub of popcorn as long as you don’t analyze the plot too closely.

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DOWNLOAD MOVIE Jaws 2 Just $2.99 for a complete movie! No additional software or browser plug-ins required! You can play them for unlimited number of times whenever you want. Downloaded movies will work perfectly on any PC, DVD player, PDA etc.
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Jaws 2 is set a few years after the events of Jaws, in the same island community of Amity, where Chief Brody (Scheider, Last Embrace) still patrols with diligence.  When a few calamities begin to occur, Brody begins to get that suspicious feeling that another shark may be on the prowl, and once again, the mayor and city council of the town refuse to listen.  Brody persists until he loses his job, but finds he still hears a call to action, this time as a father, when his sons and their friends are stuck out in the middle of nowhere with no one else but a crazed shark in sight.

Although it would prove an impossibility to come close to the masterpiece that was the original Jaws, this sequel still manages to dish out the carnage and modest scares that people would probably expect.  Steven Spielberg passed on the opportunity to direct, setting the stage for French director Szwarc (Somewhere in Time, Supergirl), a relative unknown at the time, to try to hold the difficult shoot together and deliver an entertaining film for fans of the mega-smash first entry.  He’s no Spielberg, but he gets the job done in workmanlike fashion nonetheless.

Credibility is lent by another strong performance by Roy Scheider, and when he’s on screen, the film actually manages to come close to capturing some of the intrigue that made the original film so riveting.  Unfortunately, since he isn’t the one in peril, Scheider doesn’t always appear, necessitating the crew of unknown teenage actors to take center stage for long stretches, and they aren’t nearly as effective.  They aren’t bad, but they are a far cry from evoking the masterful chemistry that Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss memorably generated.

Despite some impressive shark attacks, the ability to shock the audience is almost all but completely gone.  Without as many thrills, Jaws 2 goes through predictable motions, occasionally rising to the surface with a new twist, but remaining quite stagnant for long periods in between.  At nearly two hours in length, a bit of trimming of some of the excessively long sailing shots could have been excised, as the middle third of the film sags from a lack of eventful happenings.  Things pick up speed again for a lively finale.

Jaws 2 is a giant step down from the landmark first film, but it is better than most of the knock-offs that glutted theaters in the post-Jaws era.  It may not exactly get the adrenaline pumping like you’d expect, but it’s also not without merit, and Scheider is still quite engaging in his finest character portrayal in his distinguished career,  It may lack the excitement and sheer ferocity of Jaws, but this sequel should prove worthwhile fare for those clamoring for a continuation.

— Followed by two awful sequels, Jaws 3 (aka Jaws 3-D, theatrically) and Jaws: the Revenge.

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